I have a blog? Sorry...I forgot!

So it’s been 5 months since my last blog, it’s not that I forgot, more a case of finding the motivation to write again. I used to love writing this blog. It was a great way to let everyone into the world that I am now living in, but more than that it was a great way for me to keep my own personal diary, something to show my boys when they get older and we talk about those years when I was in Afghanistan. I wanted it to be something that would make them proud, make them understand why I was here. Though as time has gone on, for me writing the blog started to become a reminder of what I wasn’t doing more than what I was. It reminded me too much of home and of all the things I was missing out on with the family…the missed sporting events, school events, those moments that time won’t give back. I understood what it meant when I agreed to take this job, what I didn’t understand was how instead of getting easier, it has gotten harder. It got me in a real funk a while back and writing this blog was about the last thing I felt like doing. But I am 2 days away from another R&R, so let’s give it a shot.

5 months…not even sure where to start. Life has been the same…wake up…work…eat…work…eat… work…try to sleep…repeat steps 1-7. It’s a routine that I have somehow adapted to, or might be better to say I have succumbed to. My boss moved over to Iraq to take over that operation so I stepped into his role and now am in charge of 2 programs, reaching over 4 different bases, including Bagram Air Field which if you have seen the news lately has been a bit of an interesting place. I am still based at Camp Leatherneck, but I am getting the feeling that when I return from R&R I might end up doing some traveling around the country. 

Business is still good here. My program completed the Fuels Distribution project in December (I've added some more pictures in the picture gallery on the left) and have moved onto a few projects for the UK Military. They are actually my best client here and we always have a few projects going with them. I actually prefer working for them than the US military…a little less arrogant and a lot less tobacco in their lips.

We took over a security contract on a large project that another group within my company had completed. The government wasn’t thinking that they would be ready to take ownership of it when it was completed so they awarded my group a contract to keep security around the site until the Marines were ready to take it over. It is a large ammunition storage facility that is hooked onto the side of Camp Bastion, of course the military won’t let us use the gate that connects the two sites, so you have to exit the base and drive about 15 minutes around the side and back in through a temporary gate in the side of the site. The site is guarded by an Afghan company…so locals with machine guns…I always make sure to smile and wave...smile and wave. We treated them better than the previous group though, always a good business model I feel!

The drive to the site always leaves you shaking your head. There is a village that has popped up out there and it seems every time I go out there are more and more houses being built out of mud, hay, and even trash. What happens a lot around the bases is that the local contractors that leave the base with a dump truck full of debris or even regular trash will just dump it randomly once they are clear of the gate. It’s so messed up. There is trash everywhere. What amazes me though is how the local villagers pillage through it and find uses for almost everything you can imagine. One house’s front wall is built from large wooden spools that electrical wire comes on. I've added a photo gallery with pictures of the village and another of the kids. I find them to be such a mixture of beauty and sadness. The kids warm my heart when I see them, always have such an innocence, but it's hard to see past their surroundings. The poverty that they live in is just plain shocking.

I always love seeing the kids out there, though it can get a bit stressful because they run at the truck when you drive by hoping to make you stop so that they can get water, food, money…you find yourself weaving back and forth along the road trying to avoid them at times. One of our security managers was receiving clothing donations from a school in the UK that his wife works at. So a few times they stopped to hand out clothes to the kids. It funny to see them running around out there in there mix matched clothes, but it makes you feel good to see that even on such a small scale we might be doing something more than just trying to cash a paycheck out here. I had talked to my wife about starting our own clothing drive back home, but we all felt that we had already given enough to the local village, and we needed to reach out further, the problem was that I couldn’t get the UK or the US Military to work with me to take the items out there for us. They both do outreach programs, but neither seemed interested in talking to me about it. So for now I guess it’s not going to happen. 

It’s been an interesting time over here lately for sure. With all the recent 'situations' with the war (Koran burning, local Afghans being killed) the security has increased to the highest level that I have seen it. I’m not complaining, after all we are in a war zone, so you can’t have too much security. But it was weird to see the soldiers with their weapons actually loaded walking around. Usually their ammo magazines are not engaged in their guns, now they are all loaded. Like I said though, we are in a war zone. This base has never really had any major instances, we are in the middle of nowhere and it is pretty difficult to get close enough to do anything with any major force. Occasionally they shoot a rocket our way, but the last time they even got close was almost a year ago. There was however an incident over on the runway the other week when a local that was working on base stole a truck and drove it out onto the runway and tried to run over a few soldiers, he ended up in a ditch, got out, and proceeded to light himself on fire…I mean no disrespect, but I am not really sure at what point he thought the plan to light himself on fire was still a good one. Depending which report you read, he was rumored to have had on a suicide vest and one can only guess that it didn’t go off and he was trying to light it so it would? Thankfully he was the only casualty.

I was fortunate enough to be invited to the Marine handover a few weeks back. It’s a ceremony that transfers control of Camp Leatherneck between one Marine Major General and his predecessor. For a non-military guy like myself, it’s always cool to see stuff like this. I was one of only about a dozen civilians there, the place was full of local dignitaries that included ANA (Afghan National Army) Generals, mayors of the local provinces, a full Marine color guard, and of course the 2 full Marine Major Generals…grizzled, salty looking guys that no doubt could kill me one finger. I had actually met the current Major General one time before when he came to inspect a project that my company was completing. He arrived with an escort of about 12 armored vehicles, all of them loaded with Marines who were in full battle gear ready to do business. He of course stepped out of his truck with just his uniform and soft hat on, he had that Dirty Harry way about him as if he had no need for his body armor because after all, who was going to mess with him? It’s times like that when I can only laugh…to myself of course.

The sun during a sandstorm

The weather here has started to turn. The rainy season has passed and the days are starting to get warmer and warmer. Today was a high of around 90F. A big change from last month when we were still in the 50's each day and still getting rain. I said it last year, but the rain here is miserable.  Not only does it make an absolute mess of the place and flood the job sites, but it has the worst smell. The only way I can explain it is that is smells incredibly musty. It's almost like the rain is washing the dust out of the air. It's funny that when it is 140 F in the summer I was wishing for the winter to get here soon, but then at night in the winter when it is in the 20's and raining, I couldn't wait for the summer again! We did just have another epic sandstorm last week. The type that rolled in first thing in the morning and just seemed to get worse and worse all day, it didn't stop blowing until almost 10pm. All our project sites were shut down, and I almost ran off the road at least 5 times in the 1 mile drive to dinner. It's worse than driving in a snow storm with how little you can see in front of you.

So just 2 more wake ups and I am off on R&R, this time an extended one. I’ll be home for an extra week this time around. We’ll be spending the first half in the UK before heading back home. A great benefit of this gig is that we have been able to take great trips, in December I met the family in the Dominican Republic for a week before arriving back home the night before Christmas. It was perfect, Jolie and the boys had just moved into a new house, and it was a great feeling to spend their first Christmas in it. I can't wait to be home for good.

Dreaming of home...

So I guess after more than 2 months it’s time to get caught back up with my people. 

R&R was great. Instead of heading straight home, I met my wife and kids up in Boston for 5 days. A bit surreal I must admit to get on a plane in Afghanistan, and a day later I am sitting in my mom’s living room. Jolie and the boys had arrived at the airport just 30 minutes after I did and I was standing at their terminal waiting for them to get off a plane for once. When I got on my connection flight in Atlanta to Boston I sat next to guy who had the thickest stereotypical Boston accent. Normally that makes me cringe as I pride myself in not having it myself, but I actually enjoyed it, it was the first time I could really talk to anyone who gave a crap that the Boston Bruins had won the Stanley Cup!

Fenway Park

We had a great time, family bbq on July 4^th, cruised around Boston for a few days, and of course catching a Red Sox game. Being in Boston always makes me want to move back there. Though after being over here any city seems like the magical kingdom. 

Me and my gorgeous wife

We spent the rest of my R&R home in NC. I couldn’t wait to get over to the beach and enjoy walking in sand for once. We spent lots of time out on the water both with great friends on their boat (aren’t all friends with boats great) and we rented our own for another few days. It was pretty obvious after the first boat trip that I don’t spend much time over here with my shirt off or even wearing shorts for that matter….i got quite possibly the worst sunburn of my life, at one point even contemplating if I needed to go to the doctor….how embarrassing to never have gotten one out here in the desert, but was looking like a lobster after 1 day on the water back home!

Being home again was great, it always is, that should go without saying. But being home can also be incredibly hard for me. Sounds selfish yes I know, by no means should that be taken as I don’t want to be home, because nothing could be further from the truth. Stepping off the plane and seeing Jolie and the boys instantly wipes away all the stress, all the exhaustion, all the feelings of loneliness that goes along with being out here away from the ones that you love. But it also smacks you in the face on day one and continues to chase you the entire time. I can’t say exactly what it is, but each time home it has been more and more present. It’s a feeling of disconnection at times, at other times a feeling of guilt knowing that it all passes by too quickly. It’s the pressure of trying to make every minute of every day be perfect wanting to leave the boys with great memories of their time with dad and hoping that it fills them up enough to last until the next time. This last time was on the 1 year mark of me leaving, and for the first time I could tell that I had been gone for so long. It was clear that I wasn’t up to speed on their lives, felt like I had forgotten how to be a dad and a husband at times. It’s something that has stuck with me for the 2 months that I have been back, probably why I am more homesick now than I ever have through all of this. It’s ironic, over hear you get such a bond with all the people you work with, you endure the ever increasing work hours, the harsh environment, the guns, the explosions, the fact that a remote control airplane with a camera on it circles overhead watching you…but we all are hear doing it because we want to make life better for our families back home…the one thing that we miss the most.

My next R&R is due in late October, but we have decided to push it until Christmas for a couple of reasons. My biggest project is due for completion in November and for me to leave less than a month before that is not ideal as it will be an all hands on deck scenario to pull this thing to completion, but also because I really want to be home for Christmas this year after missing it last year and if I go in October I won't be eligible to go again until late January. What that means is that this rotation will be 5 months, I arrived back here a few days shy of 2 months ago…so really today is more like day one of the tour….yikes. Good thing that we are planning on going on a great trip together, finalizing he details now, but somewhere with a fruity drink is all I ask!

There hasn’t been much new going on here lately to speak off other than work, at least if there was I didn’t see it from my office window. Last month was pretty quiet as far as the guns and bombs thing goes. It was the religious month of Ramadan, which traditionally is a quieter time for the war. there still have been the occasional rockets going out, but not at the clip that we had become accustomed to…if you can get accustomed to rockets launching over your head. Ramadan does make pushing a construction schedule a bit of a challenge. All of our Afghan workers and a hand full of others that celebrate Ramadan fast during the day including drinking water. So as you can imagine when temperatures are still hovering slightly over 100 degrees and you have men working in the heat without food and water the production rate comes to a grinding halt. It also affects local suppliers that have taken a month long holiday, and in Dubai, our other main hub for supplies, getting planes loaded with materials & supplies is just as challenging. Someone needs to open a Home Depot over here.

We recently bid on a project here to improve the sewage disposal system,...glamorous huh? The current system has the sewage running off the camp and into the desert. Well there has sprung up a small village right outside the base and they have rerouted the sewage over to their farm land. For obvious reasons they have about the most fertile soil around. Part of this project is to naturally treat the sewage before it leaves the camp, something that the farmers are actually upset with as they see it as potentially hindering their ability to grow there products. We had to meet with the farmer to reassure him that he would still be getting his fair share of poop to put it bluntly, but also to find out how locals grow reed beds in this environment which is a key component of the project. Lets just say that the offer of fruit was accepted, but that fruit didn't even last the 100 yards to get back into the gate before I ditched it....and I am still washing my hands like Lady Macbeth.

Fuel System Project

 

We really have made good progress on all our projects. We are getting ever so close to finishing the Fuels System project and when that one is done I think there are more than a few of us that are going to celebrate. I've never been involved in a project like this. In the beginning myself and me site manager, whom I worked with previously back home, stood there one day and commented on how cool of a project this was for us to be doing, and even though there have been times when i think both of us wished that a well placed incoming rocket would do the project a whole lot of good...I think that as we come closer to completion we are going to be able to stand down there at the end and marvel at what it was that we accomplished out here in the middle of Afghanistan. Trust me, there are bigger and more complex projects going on out here, but at least for me this was the most challenging in my 20 years in the business. 

Driver Training Course

We delivered a really cool project for the British Military that involved building a training course for all the military vehicles, it’s pretty much an obstacle course on steroids for them to drive their million dollar toys over. I was promised a ride through the course by the head instructor once it was done....gotta make that happen.

The entire course was carved, molded, compacted using local labor driving heavy equipment, something that we have starting to refer to as herding cats. Just as you think you get one group going in the right direction you turn your head and notice that the others need gathering again. I have found that you get 2 completely different types of local workers here. Some are rock solid, motivated, want to learn and do well. Others are always looking for the shortcut, the reason why their dump truck doesn't run so they can stop working, or just simply decide to stop working and assume the squatting position that looks like a bird on a wire.

Thankfully the majority of our directly employed locals fall into the first category....one was even so happy to have finished a portion of the days task that he started doing kart wheels...

We also started another project for the US military and myself and the guy that has been running the project in the field took full advantage of the wide open space by going out and hitting a few golf balls. He actually bought a set of clubs online and we finally got over there to test them out. Amazing what 30 minutes of doing something so normal can do for your state of mind. Well most of it was normal, back home I generally don’t go to a driving range that has a guy in a tower with a 50 caliber machine gun staring down at you....talk about pressure.

Here's to dreaming of home......